How do you ask a question? Dissecting the question.

How do you ask a question? Is it really that hard?

If you’ve been in any writers’ groups, you know it is.

So, what happens? Where is the disconnect?

Personally, I think it comes from fear or the inability to properly define their question. If it is fear, it is because people don’t actually want the answer to their question. They are afraid of the answer. In response to that fear, they ask either the wrong question or a vague question. The other reason people ask vague questions is that they have an inability to properly define a question. Inability is a bad word. It is laziness. People ask vague questions the same reason they do incompetent Google searches. They can’t be bothered to take the time to do things correctly.

If you are asking bad questions out of fear, the first step to solving this is to recognizing your fear. Why are you afraid? Most writers’ fears stem from having their work criticized and mocked. Writers tend to treat the stories they write like their children. As well they should. These stories are our mind-babies. I’ll remind you of an old African proverb: It takes a village to raise a child. Don’t be an overprotective parent. Let your “child” experience the world! Asking questions and allowing people to critique your story is allowing other people to raise your “child”. Like any normal child, it will get its bumps and bruises. Like any normal parent, you have to let it happen and be there to bandage the wounds. Otherwise, your “child” will never grow and evolve.

The other reason I’m not going to waste a big paragraph on, I’m just going to sum it up in one sentence: Quit being lazy.

How do you properly ask for help? Here are a few easy things to make sure you are asking the right questions:

• Know what you want to know - This seems like a simple piece of advice but many times people don’t know what they are wanting to know. Figure out your motivation for asking for help before asking for help. If you are finding difficulty with your dialogue, realize that! When I answer your plea for help and give you pointers on plot development and you dismiss my answer because you really want to know about dialogue, more than likely I won’t answer another question from you. You just wasted my time and yours.
• Ask specific questions - Questions should be concise. Don’t ask questions like “How do I start writing?” or “How can I write erotica?”. Those questions are too broad and will never truly be answered. Instead of asking “How do I start writing?”, ask “I’m having trouble with my first line, I know the general story idea, which is <short story blurb> but how I should start it is alluding me. I don’t want you to write it for me but can I get some ideas to get the old creative juices flowing?”
• Avoid asking “poll” type questions - “Poll” questions are questions that are completely subjective. You aren’t asking for tips and tricks, you are merely asking for people’s opinions. Not only are these questions bad and more than a little boring, they have a tendency to start fights as people express differing opinions. Many begin with the words “Can I…”. It doesn’t matter what the question is if it begins with the words “Can I…” then my answer is always the same, “If you want!”.
• Be polite - Phrase your question (and any replies you make to people answering your question) politely. Avoid back-handed insults. “Well, I guess you people are as clueless as me, lol” That does not engender a need to answer your question within me.

To sum up, when you ask the right questions, you are more likely to get the correct type of responses to your query. Knowing what you are asking, being specific, being polite, and not taking polls will go a long way to people taking your questions seriously. If you don’t waste people’s times, they won’t waste your time in return.

G Dean Manuel is a writer/poet/blogger. If you wish to know more about him, go to his Facebook page. His newest story, "Dead Eyes Never Lie" on Amazon, here.